Daily Babbler

12/24/2011

Cantik tak?

Dah tukar lagu, layout etc etc.

Hater's gonna hate!
LOL.

4/09/2011

Kau pasti tak akan KERING GUSI!!

Yep! Kau pasti takkan kering gusi pabila membaca post ni! Hehe!

Kalau rasa macam tak lawak, tak payah baca.

Amoi Cantek
Suatu malam, gopal balik dari brmain futsal.... jam menunjukkan tepat jam 12 tgh mlm. dlm perjalanan balik, gopal bersiul2 kecil sambil menunggang motor utk menghilangkan rasa takutnya. tiba2 gopal terserempak dgn amoi cantik.. oleh krn x mahu hilang peluang dan krn amoi tu tlalu cantik, lalu gopal pun berhenti utk menumpangkan amoi tsebut. gopal; hi amoi.. mau pg man? mau pulangkah? amoi; ye bang.. nak pulang tp blum ada bas yg lalu. gopal; nak tumpangkah amoi cantik? amoi; kalau sudi apa salahnya lalu gopal pun menumpangkan amoi tsebut. ttp, tiba2 gopal terhidu wangi bunga yg amat sangat, lalu teringat pd crita seram rakannya mengenai bunga tgh malam.. lalu gopal pun memecutkan motor nya... tiba d satu tmpat, gopal bhenti utk menurunkan amoi itu..ttp alangkah terkejutnya gopal, amoi tsebut tiada d belakang..lantas gopal terpengsan... ttp d suatu tmpat; amoi; bodoh punya lelaki.. blum sempat aku naik, dia dah pecut.. cmana mau naik?

Lelaki Handsome vs Lelaki ~~tak~~ Handsome

Kalau lelaki handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler...
kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus...

kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata: nobody's perfect
kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
perempuan akan cakap: memang.... muka pun macam
pecah rumah!

kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg
diganggu
perempuan akan cakap: wah.. machonya.. macam hero
filem!
kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan yang
diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia...

kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: sepadan sangat...
kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: mesti kena bomoh perempuan
tuh!

kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata: jangan sedih, kan saya ada..
kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata:...(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya
meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok
saja luarannya)...

kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: perasaannya halus... penuh
kasih sayang
kalau lelaki tak handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus
menyayangi...

kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: matching... hebat luar dalam
kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?...

kalau lelaki handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan cakap: pasti takut kalau2 gambarnya
tersebar
kalau lelaki tak handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan kata: tak sanggup melihat hasilnya
ya?...

kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas
perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: ini barulah lelaki gentlemen
kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas
perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: naluri pembantu, memang
begitu....

kalau lelaki handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan cakap: let me be your shoulder to
cry on
kalau lelaki tak handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan kata: kuat nangis!! lelaki ke bukan
ni?

Kebun nenek

Setelah sekian lama di perantauan akhirnya Rahmat pulang ke kampung untuk berjumpa dengan neneknya.

Nenek : "Rahmat, nenek sudah tidak kuat lagi, nenek minta kamu sambung mengusahakan kebun nenek..."

Rahmat : "Jangan cakap macam tu, nek..." (dalam hati, tak sia-sia aku balik kampung... dapat pulak harta pusaka nenek).

Nenek : "Segala isi perkebunan, ternakan, villa, traktor untuk kamu. Tolong jaga baik-baik, jangan lupa disiram tiap hari tanaman nenek."

Rahmat : "Baik nek, nenek jangan bimbang tentang hal itu... Tapi dimana kebun nenek? Rahmat tidak pernah tahu?"

Nenek : "Di Facebook nenek, FARMVILLE, nanti nenek bagi tau passwordnya."

Rahmat : "?????"

Ele..Trick!

Orang Melayu dikatakan mengambil perkataan ELEKTRIK daripada perkataan Inggeris yang juga ELECTRIC. Tetapi yang sebenarnya, ELECTRIC itu diambil dari perkataan Melayu campur Inggeris.Ceritanya... . Pada suatu masa dulu selepas setahun Thomas Edison mencipta lampu, saintis tidak pernah terfikir memberi nama kuasa yang menyebabkan lampu itu hidup. Jadi, entah macam mana semasa lampu mula-mula hendak diperkenalkan di Tanah Melayu, ada seorang Melayu yang bernama Kulup Kalimantang mati-mati tidak percaya pada hasil ciptaan Thomas Edison itu. Semasa demonstrasi diadakan oleh Thomas di Tanah Melayu untuk memperkenalkan lampu itu, Kulup Kalimantang pun berkata dengan kuat."Ele..trick aje tu... ele..trick aje... ele trick!". ( Bermaksud tipu )Thomas Edison berfikir Kulup berkata begitu kerana mengatakan lampu menyala disebabkan oleh kuasa "ele..trick" . Jadi digunakanlah perkataan "ELE..TRICK" yang dieja ELECTRIC mengikut ejaan orang putih. Sebagai mengingati jasa Kulup Kalimantang menamakan kuasa ELECTRIC itu, maka diciptalah sejenis lampu panjang yang dinamakan lampu kalimantang.

3/26/2011

Best Jokes Ever!

Sorilah kepada pmbaca2 mlayu tpi jokes ni adalah dlm bahasa Inggeris. kalau x paham, pegi Translate English to Malay

Joke 1
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

Joke 2
It's Game 7 of the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

Joke 3
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

Joke 4
American soldiers were sent to defeat the Israelian army that is attacking Gaza. Many died. There were only 2 American soldiers left. The first soldier is in perfect condition but the other is injured badly. The first one said to HQ, "General Shepard reporting. Seargent Alan is badly injured. I repeat, Seargent Alan is dying." HQ replies, "Let's make sure he is really dead, General." Then, a shot is heard. "Ok, Seargent Alan is dead. Now what?".

Post yang akan datang aku akan masukkan pula cerita2 melayu.

EXTRAS!!!
There is a Geography class in a school. The teacher says, "Anybody knows anything about the International Dateline?" A student says, "Whoa! Why are we studying this again? What happen to the dance?" A girl says,"You mean the one we are having TONIGHT?" Then he replies,"Oh god! I have a strange sense of deja vu.." Another girl, shocked, says "Deja Who?" He replies,"Deja vu..it's French for "I've seen this all before". Then, his twin brother, Zak, says "We're having French? I thought we're having Geography!" Then, when the two of them went back home, Zak who is the DJ for the dance at their school tonight, asks his brother, Cody. "Hey, Cody. I'm the DJ for the dance tonight. Which style do you like more. The wolf style, Awouuuuuuuuuu!!! DJ wolve is here tonight! Awouuuuuu!!!!!! or,do you like McDaddy style, Wiki wiki oh wiki wiki oh! Emmhmmm!!" His brother replies, "What's happening to me? I SWEAR I lived this day before!" Zack, replies, "Well, bro, your life is SO boring, it just seems that way.

Untuk versi video cerita ini, sila tengok di bawah.

Part 2

Part 3

3/24/2011

< Instert Title Here >

Knape murid prompuan 6 melati SKBG ni bermasalah sangat ah?
1. Fariz aka Ainaa in duisguise : "hang suka kat sapa?"
2. Ainina: STOP GEDIK BOYS LIKE AMIRUL!!
3. Wani: Bububububububu
4. Nasuha: Berlepas!! Alamaks, crash!
Ok, aku akan selesaikan masalah ni dalam satu post sahaja.

Fariz aka Ainaa : Aku muda lagi. Kena control macho.
Ainina : Oops, aku ke hang? Boy ke girl? 99.99% orang percaya ia ialah hang.
Wani : Hmm...susah jugak eh...aku ketepikan dululah...
Nasuha: Lain kali pakai jenama lain. Jangan pakai NASA.